I’m Willing To Be Broken

I wrote the lyrics for the song “I’m Willing To Be Broken” during the time when I felt the most helpless and miserable; yet, it was also/exactly  when God broke and re-formed me the most.  He took away all the things that I was so proud of, including:a well-paid job, a nice house, a pretty expensive car, and a stable relationship.  But it was also because of this circumstance that I had the space to reflect upon my relationship with God, helping me to face many hurts from my father when I was little, and allowing  me to be healed by Him.  During these two years, I had so much anxiety and helplessness, doubt and anger.  I kept wrestling with God: “Does it really need to be like this?  It is so hard to bear!  Isn’t there another way?”

Until one day, my Heavenly Father said to me, “My child, do you not know?  If the tears that you have shed were not allowed by me, not one drop would have fallen.  I did this to build you a much more beautiful life.”
When I heard this, I cried again.  With teary eyes, I wrote the chorus of the song:

I am willing to be broken by You
To have all my falsehood torn apart
You allow my tears to fall
To rebuild a much more beautiful me

Four years later, my healing journey continues.  Sometimes I still want to run away, but every time I want/have wanted to give up, the lyrics inspired by the Holy Spirit would once again ring in my head:

I am willing to be broken by You
I will not wander in darkness again
I don’t want to regret
I will not go back
You will surely let me see the beauty of obedience

May we all come to know the beauty of obedience, through which God will build us into the masterpieces He has always intended.

Obedience is a particular means of joy and the only means to that particular joy.
-Charles Williams

Leo
jnX US team member
June 15, 2015

1 Min Story

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