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| Stepping Out From My Comfort |
 On March 6, we had a worship event called “Stepping Out From My Comfort.” While preparing for my sharing, I started to reflect on my eight-year journey with jnX. I have been to many different places around the world, rich and poor, resourceful and resource-less. Through these journeys, God has been revealing to me what my comfort zones are and how I have to be submissive to Him by stepping out. We live in a materialistic world and are just brainwashed by this society. You see sales ads almost everyday and it seems that our self-worth is based upon what we own. But do we really need all our possessions to make us happy? Do we need all these things to survive? I remember during our trip to North East India in 2007, God clearly showed me the difference between “needs” and “wants”. We traveled non-stop for 55 hrs before reaching our final destination. What really shocked me was, no matter how far we traveled and how remote those areas were, there were still little villages where people actually lived. From that moment on, I realized that many things that we thought we need are not necessities. I thank God for revealing to me how I need to change my values and perspective on things. I was able to step out from my comfort zone to see the true needs of this world. I worked as a financial analyst at a high tech company and my last job was pretty decent. I had a relatively flexible schedule with good pay and also a steady position. (The position was a steady one and I had a relatively flexible schedule with good pay.) But sometimes, God might want us to step out from such comfort to experience His guidance through storm and fire and that was exactly what God asked of me to do. After much time spent in prayer and in seeking the Lord, I decided to take a step of faith. I quit my job in July 2009. Obviously it is not the best time to look for jobs and it really took a lot of courage for me to be submissive under His will. (In the midst of the financial downturn, it was obviously not the best time to be out of a job, so it really took a lot of courage for me to be submission to His will.) But once you take that step, you will discover God’s provision and guidance. I thank Him for giving me the courage to step out of another comfort zone in my life. After I quit my job, I had the opportunity to serve at a youth camp in Shanghai. To me, it is another big comfort zone that I needed to step out from. Why? I was born an only child and my parents divorced when I was in my teens. My father has always been absent from my life even before the divorce, so I have always lacked a father figure when I was growing up. There is a lot of hurt and brokenness inside me that makes me always seeking for acceptance from people, which I did not realize. (I had never realized the hurt and emptiness inside me drove me to seek the acceptance of others.) Being an only child, I also lacked the skills to deal with peers and younger people. Therefore the thought of serving young people really scared me. But God’s Spirit stirred my heart continuously, so I decided to again submit to His will. After I took this step of faith, I soon realized why God wanted me to go and serve those young people. The teenagers we served were mostly born in well-off families, their fathers being businessmen in China. God brought the jnX team there for a purpose. As soon as we started our ministry, we realized that many of them were missing a father figure in their lives as well. The needs and brokenness inside made it hard for them to connect with our Father in heaven. Our amazing God has brought healing to these kids through worship. (Through worship, God’s healing power was manifested upon those kids.) Furthermore, through what happened in Shanghai, I began to recognize the hurt and brokenness in me and how I needed God to heal the wounds I had inside. The Shanghai ministry trip has been a life changing experience (and the healing is still going on in me) and I praise God for His almighty work. If I had not submitted and quit my job, I would not have had the opportunity to receive the healing and blessings that God had in-store for me. Even though I am still without a job, God has sent many angels around me to give me tons of support. I truly believe that God has His timing and I only need to be submissive. He seeks our best interest and He will provide the best for all of us. |
